My Mom’s story

Betty, my mom, was one of the most amazing moms who ever lived. I could go to her with anything; she was my best friend – and now she’s my angel. She taught my sister and me what it feels like to be loved to the ends of the earth.

Mom always thought about other people. She was one of the most selfless people I have ever known. Her life centered around her family. She and my Dad were married for 50 years and were able to celebrate that milestone anniversary, still like high school sweethearts, a few months before she was diagnosed. She was a school teacher before my sister, Karen, and I were born and then a stay-at-home mother who was involved in all our activities. My friends always wanted to come to my house for lunch because Mom was known for her cooking and her Southern hospitality. Mom made sure everyone had their individual favorites made. That’s how much she wanted others to be happy. She also was very active in our Myrtle Beach, S.C., community and our church. No one ever had a bad word to say about her.

Diagnosed with ALS

In December 2006, Mom lost her voice. We thought she had a cold. For a whole year, we took her from doctor to doctor and they all had a different diagnosis, from acid reflux to old age (although she was only 73).

One day we were at a restaurant, and we ran into my mom’s former general doctor. He noticed that she was walking poorly and asked us if she had any other symptoms. Yes, we said, she has lost her voice and she is choking on her food. He said it might be ALS and suggested we see a neurologist. That’s when I brought Mom out to Los Angeles and we went to the MDA clinic at UCLA Medical Center. She received her diagnosis on Nov. 1, 2007.

The impact of the diagnosis

It was devastating, as you can imagine. For Mom, her first thoughts were about my dad, my sister and me, and the grandkids – “What are they going to do without me?” Because she couldn’t talk, she had to express her emotions in writing. For someone who was so vocal and loving, this was one of the toughest things. Before ALS, I would talk to her on the phone almost every day. She had a wonderful Southern “Gone-with-the-Wind” accent. I miss that so much.

When I first heard the diagnosis, there was a ringing in my ears.  As my sister and I have discussed, it was almost as if our minds wouldn’t process the information. It was as if I was as if we were not really hearing what the doctor was saying, as if this had to be someone else he was talking about…not our precious mom. In 2008, my daughter, Ashby, was born and my life became taking care of the baby and taking care of Mom. I got on a plane to visit Mom every week.

In high school Mom had given me a cross stitch of the Serenity Prayer, and after the diagnosis, I showed it to her and reminded her this is something she always showed me when things were tough growing up. I said, we can’t do anything to change your diagnosis, but we have to have the wisdom to know how to handle it and fight it.

In early June 2008, Mom had a sudden medical crisis and went to her local emergency room. Her system was too weak to go on, and she never made it home. She was 74.